Jump to content

irishmick79

Predict the next disaster to befall the Tigers this season...

Recommended Posts

Gary Sheffield gets a 3 year extension?

Pudge Rodriguez gets carried off and consumed by fire ants?

A blimp loaded with a nuclear weapon crashes into Comerica?

Leyland contracts lung cancer and has a tumor explode out of his throat while arguing with an umpire?

Carlos Guillen routinely shoots little children up with heroin?

Apparently, this season the Tigers have opted to take a mulligan. The only other sports team I know of which has experienced a season completely disintigrate on this level is Michigan State football. At this point nothing will surprise me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gary Sheffield gets a 3 year extension?

Pudge Rodriguez gets carried off and consumed by fire ants?

A blimp loaded with a nuclear weapon crashes into Comerica?

Leyland contracts lung cancer and has a tumor explode out of his throat while arguing with an umpire?

Carlos Guillen routinely shoots little children up with heroin?

Apparently, this season the Tigers have opted to take a mulligan. The only other sports team I know of which has experienced a season completely disintigrate on this level is Michigan State football. At this point nothing will surprise me.

Wow - I couldn't have even THOUGHT UP the last 2 items on your list.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gary Sheffield gets a 3 year extension?

Pudge Rodriguez gets carried off and consumed by fire ants?

A blimp loaded with a nuclear weapon crashes into Comerica?

Leyland contracts lung cancer and has a tumor explode out of his throat while arguing with an umpire?

Carlos Guillen routinely shoots little children up with heroin?

Apparently, this season the Tigers have opted to take a mulligan. The only other sports team I know of which has experienced a season completely disintigrate on this level is Michigan State football. At this point nothing will surprise me.

I'd argue that the your 2nd scenario wouldn't be a disaster at all. On a more realistic side I'd expect Todd Jones to start blowing saves sometime during the season.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'd argue that the your 2nd scenario wouldn't be a disaster at all. On a more realistic side I'd expect Todd Jones to start blowing saves sometime during the season.

You are assuming of course that Todd Jones is going to begin to get save opportunities. I think in 60 games Jones has had 8 save opportunities, that has to be close to a record. Extrapolated to a 162 game season that is less than 20 save opportunities. Horrible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'd argue that the your 2nd scenario wouldn't be a disaster at all. On a more realistic side I'd expect Todd Jones to start blowing saves sometime during the season.

We hear this prediction every year.

Jones is one of the few Tigers who has done his job this year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Next disaster(s) to befall Tigers:

#1 Rick Porcello, the Tigers number one pick in last years player draft, is found to be biologically a female and thus barred from participating in baseball.

#2 In an effort to begin to play at the level predicted by almost everyone, before the season began, the entire Tigers team begins (re)taking PED's and promptly fails MLB mandated drug tests. The team is suspended en masse for the remainder of the season.

#3 The Tigers seeking a spark, trade underperforming Verlander and Granderson to the Twinkies for Craig Monroe. He is promptly caught shoplifting donuts and never again plays for the team. Verlander wins his first Cy Young Award in '09, as a Twinkie.

#4 In a daring and bold effort to stimulate his moribund team, Dave Dombrowski signs Darren McCarty (3B) & Dom Hasek © to the team, releasing Inge & Rodriguez. Both are later declared ineligible as their work visas do not allow them to play any professional sports other than hockey. Plus everyone knows they are waaaay too young to play for the Tigers anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
We hear this prediction every year.

Jones is one of the few Tigers who has done his job this year.

I realize this... however I feel at his age and his repertoire that the guys a walking time bomb when it comes to closer's performance. It wouldn't surprise me where Todd has a rough patch where he blows a few games. He's done it every year he's been here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Joe Morgan resigns from ESPN to take over color duties for FSN Detroit with newly promoted play by play man Rod Allen.

Executives at Fox Sports are aldo excited to present the new pregame Rod and Joe Show where the two former players will explain radar gun readings and explain the logic behind calling squeeze plays anytime a runner is on 3rd with less than one out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jones is one of the few Tigers who has done his job this year.

He is third among Tigers relievers at keeping men off base, which is pretty solid, for sure. Lopez and Rapada have been better, but Jones is right up there with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Renteria contracts gonorrhea, diarrhea, & pyorrhea. All from a flamenco dancer named "Neifi".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bonderman has season ending surgery for a torn labrum

Verlander develops a sore arm and they DL him with "tendonitis".

Granderson starts to hit and then re-injures his hand making a diving catch.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cabrera begins to produce in the clutch...after the Tigers are 20 games out of first with 15 games to play.

Bonderman, who has been consistent this year (even if he isn't winning as much), goes on the DL for the rest of the year--can't really say I didn't see this coming, and I think it's more than likely going to happen.

Ordonez injures a knee running out a play to first and goes on the DL for the year.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bonderman has season ending surgery for a torn labrum

Verlander develops a sore arm and they DL him with "tendonitis".

Granderson starts to hit and then re-injures his hand making a diving catch.

Wrong injury, but correct result. :dead:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only thing I could really think of that would be horrible enough to top everything that's happened so far would be Curtis Granderson demanding a trade to his beloved Chicago White Sox after punching out Al Kaline

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ending catastrophic predictions seems like a decent idea given the whole Bondo thing. Actually, wishful thinking... Nate Robertson is caught running a male prostitution ring out of the back of a Little Caesar's. That would be good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Debris from Tiger Stadium's demolition flies 130,000ft into the air and then hurtles down towards centerfield of Comerica and strikes Curtis Granderson in the head, who had been warned by Ron Leflore just a day earlier to wear a Skylab-era helmet in the outfield.

Cabrera gets flesh-eating salmonella from a burger at Chelli's, sues Chelios & Illitch & the Red Wings organization, is awarded the Stanley Cup as damages by a civil jury, takes the Cup back to Venezuela where Hugo Chavez converts it into his own personal bidet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jimmy Leyland is fired and Joe Morgan is hired to turn around the franchise. Soon after, he is given the dual role of manager and general manager.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jimmy Leyland is fired and Joe Morgan is hired to turn around the franchise. Soon after, he is given the dual role of manager and general manager.

Anything to keep him off the airwaves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd also like to add "The team plane accidentally gets shot down by the Air Force because it veered out of its planned flight path" scenario to the list.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

MLB goes on strike, keeping us from having ANY sort of baseball for the rest of 2008.

Play resumes in June of 2009, and MLB elects to pick up where they left off, with each team's 2008 record carrying over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...