Best movie Quotes

[astrocreep]

Pulp Fiction

Eric Stoltz: "Hey, uh, what do you think about Trudy? She ain't got a boyfriend, you wanna, uh, hang out? Get high?"

John Travolta: "Which one's Trudy? The one with all the **** in her face?"

Eric Stoltz: "No, that's, Jody--that's my wife."

[hueytaxi]

What else than Robert Duvall in Apocolypse Now: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning..."

[shoelace]

rocky balboa 2006

But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you!

[Corky]

Annie Hall (Pretty much every line in this classic is memorable):

Alvy Singer: I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

******************************

Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience.
Alvy Singer: Oh. Thank you.
Pam: I mean that as a compliment.


******************************

Alvy Singer: I remember the staff at our public school. You know, we had a saying, uh, that those who can't do teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym. And, uh, those who couldn't do anything, I think, were assigned to our school.


******************************

Alvy Singer: I don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose. There's the nasal membrane...
Annie Hall: You never want to try anything new, Alvy.
Alvy Singer: How can you say that? Whose idea was it? I said that you, I and that girl from your acting class should sleep together in a threesome.
Annie Hall: Well, that's sick.
Alvy Singer: Yeah, I know it's sick, but it's new. You didn't say it couldn't be sick.

[Anthony]

Goodfellas:

Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the **** out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya mother****er! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

[djhutch]

Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) - Field of Dreams

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But, baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again.

[cruzer1]

From Citizen Kane:

Bernstein: A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all, but I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl.

Casablanca:

Captain Renault: I've often speculated why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic in me.
Rick: It was a combination of all three.

The Big Lebowski:

Walter Sobchak: What the *bleep* are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
The Dude: Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy...

[DaYooperASBDT]

The only correct answer is the line from Alien:
"Get away from her you B**** !!!!

[MelissaG915]

I'm a sucker for Pulp Fiction. For some reason, this quote has been floating in my head.

Esmeralda Villalobos: So what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands? It's a topic I'm very interested in.

[jaymo]

"Deserve's got nothing to do with it."

The Unforgiven

[Greenwit]

"I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!"

Peter O'Toole, My Favorite Year

[Amish Love Machine]

From Billy Madison

Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[MelissaG915]

Say Anything:

Llyod Dobler: I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.

[JohnJMS]

"Your a good man. A good man always knows his limitations"

Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood)
From
Magnum Force

[rhino]

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."- Dean Wormer

[Motor City Sonics]

"It's all this Ity food. Zucinni, Fetucinni, Linguini.... I want American Food, dammit, I want French Fries"

(name the movie).

"Sometimes I doubt your committment to Sparklemotion" (Donnie Darko)


"I guess he had it comin.................we all have it comin, kid"
(Unforgiven)

"Ty Cobb wanted to play but none of us could stand the son of a ***** when we were alive so we told him to stick it....HA HA HA"
(Field Of Dreams)

(tv line that could have been a movie line in Homicide) "there is no justice, there's just us"


(Pulp Fiction)

"The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any **** were gonna put their greasy ***** hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ***. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ***. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch.

[DaYooperASBDT]

"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

Scene 1

[wind]
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
[clop clop]

GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign
of all England!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy.
We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord
and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'
'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound
coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master
that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
GUARD #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
at Camelot?!
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop]
GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?


Scene 2

MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
[clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got **** all over him.


Scene 3

[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind
you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!
If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,
[angels sing]
her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur
from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?


Scene 4

[arg]
[ugh]
[hah]

ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me
in my Court of Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[hah]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!


Scene 5

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEMIR: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEMIR: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my larger scales!
[yelling]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]

Scene 6

ARTHUR: Shhh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us
ride... to Camelot.

[singing]
We're knights of the round table
We dance when e'er we're able
We do routines and parlour scenes
With footwork impecc-Able.

We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot

[dancing]

We're knights of the Round Table
Our shows are for-mid-able
Though many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsing-able
We not so fat in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot

[tap-dancing]

Oh we're tough and able
Quite indefatigable
Between our quests we sequin vests
And impersonate Clark Gable
It's a bit too loud in Camelot
I have to push the pram a lot.

ARTHUR: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot -- it is
a silly place.
Right.

Scene 8
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Halt! Hallo! Hallo!
GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round
Table. Who's castle is this?
GUARD: This is the castle of Our Master Ruiz' de lu la Ramper (sp?)
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God
with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the
night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen...
Uh, he's already got one, you see?
ARTHUR: What?
GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?
GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a [To Other Guards] I told him we already got one.
OTHER GUARDS: [Laughing]
ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you
silly king!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle
by force!
GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your
bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called
Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal
food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.)
wha?
GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!)
[moo]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]
[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
Right! Charge!
ALL: Charge!
[mayhem]
GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother!
[twong]
ALL: Run away!
GUARD: Thpppt!
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
ARTHUR: No no, no.
BEDEMIR: Sir! I have a plan, sir.

[later]

[chop]
[mrrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaauuuuww]
[rumble rumble squeak]
MUTTERING GUARDS: ce labon a bunny do
wha?
un cadeau?
a present!
oh, un cadeau.
oui oui hurry!
wha-?
let's go!
[rumble rumble squeak]

ARTHUR: What happens now?
BEDEMIR: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall,
and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise --
not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR: Who leaps out?
BEDEMIR: Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh
and uh....
ARTHUR: Oh....
BEDEMIR: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden badger--
[twong]
ALL: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
[splat]
GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw.

[DaYooperASBDT]

Scene 10

NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Robin....
So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north,
through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.

MINSTREL (singing):

Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed
into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis--
ROBIN: That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.
Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
WOMAN: Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. Now I've dropped my mud.
ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou?
MINSTREL (singing): He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who--
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody really, I'm j-just um, just passing
through.
ALL HEADS: What do you want?
MINSTREL (singing): To fight, and--
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really -- I, uh, j-j-ust
to um, just to p-pass through, good Sir knight.
ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not!
ROBIN: Ah. W-well, actually I am a Knight of the Round Table.
ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table?
ROBIN: I am.
LEFT HEAD: In that case I shall have to kill you.
MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I?
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think?
LEFT HEAD: I think kill him.
RIGHT HEAD: Well let's be nice to him.
MIDDLE HEAD: Oh shut up.
LEFT HEAD: Perhaps-
MIDDLE HEAD: And you.
LEFT HEAD: Oh quick get the sword out I want to cut his head off!
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off!
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favor!
LEFT HEAD: What?
RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time.
MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky. You're not next to him.
LEFT HEAD: What do you mean?
MIDDLE HEAD: You snore.
LEFT HEAD: Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well its only because you don't brush my teeth.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.
LEFT HEAD: All right, all right, all right. We'll kill him first
and then have tea and biscuits.
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, but not biscuits.
LEFT HEAD: All right, all right, not biscuits, but lets kill him anyway.
ALL HEADS: Right!
LEFT HEAD: He buggered off.
RIGHT HEAD: So he has, he's scarpered.

MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir Robin ran away
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away
ROBIN: I didn't!
MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about
ROBIN: I didn't!
MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
ROBIN: I never did!
MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat
ROBIN: Oh, lie!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin
ROBIN: I never!

Scene 11

LAUNCELOT: Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD: Oh, hello.
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
GALAHAD: What?
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
GALAHAD: Why?
LAUNCELOT: You're in great peril!
LAUNCELOT: Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD: Now look, it's not important.
LAUNCELOT: Quick! Come on and we'll cover your escape!
GALAHAD: Look, I'm fine!
LAUNCELOT: Come on!
GALAHAD: Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
GIRLS: Yes! Tackle us single-handed!
LAUNCELOT: No, Sir Galahad, come on!
GALAHAD: No, really, honestly, I can go back and handle this lot easily!
DINGO: Oh, yes, he can handle us easily.
GIRLS: Yes, yes!
GALAHAD: Wait! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and fifty
of them!
DINGO: Yes, yes, he'll beat us easily, we haven't a chance.
GIRLS: Yes, yes.
[boom]
DINGO: Oh, ****.
[outside]
LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.
GALAHAD: I don't think I was.
LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.
GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous.
GALAHAD: Look, I'm a knight, I'm supposed to get as much peril as I can.
LAUNCELOT: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
LAUNCELOT: No, it's unhealthy.
GALAHAD: Bet you're gay!
LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.

Scene 25

HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!
ARTHUR: Knights of Nee, we are but simple travellers who seek the
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: A what?
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a shrubbery.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will
never pass through this wood alive!
Scene 26
FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you're marryin' Princess
Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea. [smack] Guards! Make sure
the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e doesn't
leave.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him
entering the room.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
FATHER: All right?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we...
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1: Uh...
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room.
All right?
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had
to leave and we were--
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here--
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,--
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me--
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: What?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know, it
seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
Scene 31
ARTHUR: O, Knights of Nee, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we
go now?
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly.
But there is one small problem.
ARTHUR: What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say Nee.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-
ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til Recently
Said Nee?
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place
it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a
two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
RANDOM: A path! A path! Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut
down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!
ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Don't say that word.
ARTHUR: What word?
HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words
the Knights of Nee cannot hear.
ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
ARTHUR: What, `is'?
HEAD KNIGHT: No, not `is' -- we couldn't get vary far in life not
saying `is'.
BEDEMIR: My liege, it's Sir Robin!
MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing about
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge
ARTHUR: Oh, Robin!
ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word!
ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?
MINSTREL (singing): He is sneaking away and buggering up--
ROBIN: Shut up! No, no no-- far from it.
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!
ROBIN: I was looking for it.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
ROBIN: Uh, here, here in this forest.
ARTHUR: No, it is far from--
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word!
ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh! He said it again!
ARTHUR: Patsy!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaugh! I said it! I said it! Ooh! I said it again!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
Scene 32
TIM: Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail.
KNIGHTS: Oh, thank you.
TIM: To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Kyre Banorg --
wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last
words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett [boom] proclaim the last resting
place of the most Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: Where could we find this cave, O Tim?
TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance
to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man
yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn
about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or
your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty
big pointy teeth.
ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance.
TIM: Too late!
[chord]
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel,
and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You ***! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a
killer!
KNIGHT: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
KNIGHT: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You mangy Scot git!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM: Look!
[squeak]
BORIS: Aaaugh!
[chord]
ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
TIM: I warned you!
ROBIN: I peed again!
TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all,
didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well,
it's always the same, I always--
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
TIM: --But do they listen to me?--

ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal
assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make
a mistake.
ARTHUR: Like what?
GALAHAD: Well,....
ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
KNIGHT: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one
of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard!
Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
[singing]
How does it, uh... how does it work?
KNIGHT: I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and
people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
Scene 34
KNIGHT: There! Look!
LAUNCELOT: What does it say?
GALAHAD: What language is that?
ARTHUR: Brother Maynard, you're our scholar!
MAYNARD: It's Aramaic!
GALAHAD: Of course! Joseph of Aramathea!
LAUNCELOT: Course!
KNIGHT: What does it say?
MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of
Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail
in the Castle of uuggggggh'.
ARTHUR: What?
MAYNARD: '... the Castle of uuggggggh'.
BEDEMIR: What is that?
MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaggggh'.
He'd just say it!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
MAYNARD: No. Just, 'uuggggggh'.
LAUNCELOT: Aauuggghhh.
KNIGHT: Aaauggh.
BEDEMIR: You don't suppose he meant the Camauuuugh?
KNIGHT: Where's that?
BEDEMIR: France, I think.
LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?
ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.
SEVERAL: Iiiiives.
BEDEMIR: Oooohoohohooo!
LAUNCELOT: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat. Aauuugh.
BEDEMIR: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!

Scene 35
ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
ROBIN: Oh, great.
KNIGHT: Look!
ARTHUR: There's the old man from Scene 24!
BEDEMIR: What is he doing here?
ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each
traveller five questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety.
ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?
ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
ROBIN: Oh, I won't go.
KNIGHT: Who's going to answer the questions?
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ROBIN: Yes?
ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?
LAUNCELOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed.
I shall make a feint to the north-east--
ARTHUR: No, no, hang on, hang on, hang on! Just answer the five
questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch... and
pray.
LAUNCELOT: I understand, my liege.
ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.
KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT: Blue.
KEEPER: Right. Off you go.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
ROBIN: That's easy!
KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?
ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
BEDEMIR: How do know so much about swallows?
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know.

Scene 36
ARTHUR: The Castle Aggh. Our quest is at an end! God be praised!
Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast [something] safe
[something] the most-
[twong baaaa]
Jesus Christ!
GUARD: 'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who
is afraid of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows out-wit you a
second time!
ARTHUR: How dare you profane this place with your presence!? I command
you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of this
sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
GUARD: How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in your
direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could
out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.
ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred
castle!
GUARD: No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you
and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained
wipers of other people's bottoms!
ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle by
force!
[splat]
In the name of God and the glory of our--
[splat]
Right! That settles it!
GUARD: Yes, this time and try
any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads
and make castanets out of your testicles already! Ha ha!
ARTHUR: Walk away. Just ignore them.
GUARD: No, remain you illegitimate faced buggerfuls! And, if you think
you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy
English kaniggets! Thpppt!

[jaymo]

I expected to start reading about llamas at the end of those last two posts . . .

[ToledoTigerFan]

I'm a Pulp Fiction nut, too. The whole movie is an endless string of memorable dialogue. I like this exchange, because Samuel L. Jackson delievered it so well.

Jules and Brett:
Jules: Hey kids! How you boys doin'?
[to man laying on the couch]
Jules: Hey, keep chillin'. You know who we are? We're associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here. You're Brett, right?
Brett: Yeah.
Jules: I thought so. You remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, don't you, Brett?
Brett: Yeah, yeah, I remember him.
Jules: Good. Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?
Brett: Hamburgers.
Jules: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?
Brett: Ch-cheeseburgers.
Jules: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? McDonalds? Wendy's? Jack in the Box? Where?
Brett: Big Kahuna Burger.
Jules: Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?
Brett: They're good.
Jules: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?
[Picks up burger and takes a bite]
Jules: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?
[Vincent shakes his head]
Jules: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.
Vincent: Ain't hungry.
Jules: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegitarian which pretty much makes me a vegitarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Brett: No.
Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.
Vincent: A Royale with cheese.
Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?
Brett: Because of the metric system?
Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart mother****er. That's right. The metric system. What's in this?
Brett: Sprite.
Jules: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
Brett: Go right ahead.
Jules: Ah, hit the spot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110912/quotes

[Lousluggage]

From A Few Good Men:

"Should we, or should we not, take advice from the GALACTICALLY STUPID!"

[Tressel]

John Hancock...it's Herbie Hancock, duuuuuh

-comedic gold from Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy"

[ToledoTigerFan]

Have I missed something or hasn't it been a good while since Quentin Tarantino had a movie come along? Has there been anything since KB2?

[mancity09]

Have I missed something or hasn't it been a good while since Quentin Tarantino had a movie come along? Has there been anything since KB2?

"Death Proof" in 2007 as part of the Grindhouse double feature with Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror."

[ToledoTigerFan]

I forgot about that one. Was it any good?

[Anthony]

Rocky 5 (baaaaaaad movie, but i love this scene)

Mickey: See that? This is the favorite thing that I have on this Earth. And Rocky Marciano give me that. You know what it was? His cufflink. Huh? And now I'm givin' it to you and it, it's gotta be like a, like an angel on your shoulder see? If you ever get hurt and you feel that you're goin' down this little angel is gonna whisper in your ear. It's gonna say, 'Get up you son of a ***** 'cause Mickey loves you'. Okay?

[Walt]

"Life is pain, princess. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
The Princess Bride

And I second Yoop's post, the entire script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Also, anything from Gunny Ermey in Full Metal Jacket.

[Corky]

Buckaroo Banzai: Evil, pure and simple from the Eighth Dimension!

Buckaroo Banzai: Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Dr. Lazardo: Laugha while you can monkeyboy.

Buckaroo Banzai: The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen all at once.

New Jersey: Why is there a watermelon there?
Reno: I'll tell you later.

Lord John Whorfin: Where are we going?
The Red Lectroids: Planet Ten!
Lord John Whorfin: When?
The Red Lectroids: Real soon!

Perfect Tommy: Emilio Lizardo. Wasn't he on TV once?
Buckaroo Banzai: You're thinking of Mr. Wizard.
Reno: Emilio Lizardo is a top scientist, dummkopf.
Perfect Tommy: So was Mr. Wizard.

[cruzer1]

I forgot about that one. Was it any good?

I thought so. Very much a Tarantino-esque movie. See the long version if possible. A definite rental.

[Bubba]

I am stealing this one from Dwight Schrute:

"A real man makes his own luck." Billy Zane, Titanic

[juiceman]

Also from Pulp Fiction:

Lance: Still got your Malibu?
Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some f'er did the other day?
Lance: What?
Vincent: F'ing keyed it.
Lance: Oh, man, that's f'ed up.
Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five days and some di_less piece of s__t ****ed with it.
Lance: They should be f'ing killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.
Vincent: Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that a-hole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it just so I could've caught him doing it.
Lance: What a f'er!
Vincent: What's more chickens__t than ****ing with a man's automobile? I mean, don't f__ with another man's vehicle.
Lance: You don't do it.
Vincent: It's just against the rules.

[TigersFan81371]

"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger."

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just...do things."

"Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push." (My favorite.)

[Anthony]

"Life is pain, princess. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
The Princess Bride

And I second Yoop's post, the entire script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Also, anything from Gunny Ermey in Full Metal Jacket.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.




"You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"
-The Untouchables

[Bubba]

"What were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What you do with 'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? (makes motorboat sounds with his lips) You motorboatin' son of a *****. You old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house?"

[Oblong]

It's best quotes, not best scenes.

My favorites are the ones you can use in everyday life.

"Looks like we have ourselves a natural disaster"

[Shinma]

"What were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What you do with 'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? (makes motorboat sounds with his lips) You motorboatin' son of a *****. You old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house?"

[Auburndale Ray]

From "Billy Madison":

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

[Sparks4Ever]

"This is this."

Great line. Can't explain why, but it worked in that movie.

"I drink your milkshake."

Is the one quote from a recent movie that will undoubtedly live on in infamy.

[smr-nj]

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Clemenza to Rocco

[hueytaxi]

I'm still shakin' it boss, I'm still shakin' it!

Cool hand Luke doing the whiz.......