This spring, a friend of my wife stepped up to be the coach of her 5 year old son's soccer team. Having never played soccer and not knowing anything about the game, she enlisted me to help her out. I played youth soccer for about 6 years and rode the bench on the Clarkston High School varsity team. I was never very good, but I can coach. And I take pride in that.

That said, we are talking about 5 year olds. How do you coach 5 year olds? You can't. You herd them like sheep and make...