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Old 10-27-2006, 06:19 AM
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Biff Mayhem Biff Mayhem is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Roaming the desert
Posts: 26,410
Exclamation The St. Louis Cardinals New Mascot

You've all seen that guy. He's kind of greasy looking. His hygiene is lacking. He's actually kind of creepy at times. He's a nice enough guy when he fixes your computer but tries a little too hard to be your buddy.

He's that guy who hangs around the bar until 2 am keeping a close eye on the patrons. He's a vulture. He preys on the vulnerable. "Oh, there she is!" he thinks as the tipsy girl drops her keys. He swoops in and offers her a ride home. The next morning the girl wakes up, looks over, and is more adamant about never drinking again than any frat boy with his head in the toilet suddenly finding religion.

Sure, he got got all cleaned up one night. He brushed his teeth, put on a freshly pressed shirt, and added a dash of cologne. He scored with a reasonably pretty girl by putting on a good peformance.

But the other times, while bathed in Axe or Tag and wearing a white, beat-up University of South Carolina hat, he scored with the temporarily morally challenged drunk girl.

That guy is a vulture. And so are the Cardinals who should now be referred to as "The St. Louis Vultures".

Of course that would make the Tigers a bunch of stupid drunk girls..
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